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The Greyhound

Cyber stalking a viable alternative to ‘real dating’ in the digital age

The Internet has given society so many gifts, from memes and gifs to viral videos of dubbed-over NFL players. Possibly the best so far is the gift of social media, and with that, the invention of cyber stalking.

Let’s say you met someone really awesome in class or at a social event and they introduce themselves with their full name. This introduction obviously serves as consent for you to get up the next morning and search all forms of social media for their various profiles and accounts.

As college students, our time is incredibly valuable because we’re always off to do the next great deed, like buy Starbucks for a friend or share HBO Go account information. So how does one find the time to actually speak to another human? Cyber stalking is just a means to an end, and does not make you a creep or a weirdo, but a rational and time-conscious functioning human.

To start off your search, head straight for Facebook. This is the perfect way to see what all their friends have to say about them, and also shows what they really think of themselves. Is their profile picture of them and a bunch of friends? Or is it them and an animal, elderly person, or small child? If their picture is of them in front of a blank wall with a weapon of some sort, it’d be wise to exercise caution. The other great thing is the access to their pictures, which, aside from a reminder of what they look like, also shows you places they frequent so that by happenstance you may casually bump into them. But Facebook does have one daunting roadblock, the private profile. Should their profile be private, it is time to check other sources for the information you need.

For real insight into the inner workings of their mind, Twitter is the way to go. Those 140 characters are a direct link to their innermost thoughts and feelings, and as far as cyber stalking goals go, getting that information is priority number one. This sort of stalking is essentially the new courtship, because how else are you expected to get to know someone in the digital age?

In the end, there’s nothing wrong with cyberstalking: it’s the same as dating, except that the other person doesn’t know about it, and what they don’t know won’t hurt them.

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Cyber stalking a viable alternative to ‘real dating’ in the digital age