You ar currntly rading a pilot run of a bold nw concpt, on that will surly rinvigorat this nwspapr as you know it. Starting nxt wk, Th Gryhound will no longr print a crtain lttr of th alphabt.

As our ddicatd radrs hav no doubt noticd by now, Th Gryhound has bn shrinking ovr th cours of this acadmic yar. Financially, tims hav bn tough, and w’v had to tightn our blts as an ditorial staff. First th papr wnt from sixtn pags to twlv pags, and thn th hight of a pag was rducd to tn inchs instad of fourtn. Dspit doubling our radrship to a whopping four popl, th papr is still unabl to covr its costs.

Aftr consulting Wikipdia for svral minuts, th staff discovrd that a crtain lttr which I am unabl to nam is th most commonly apparing lttr in th Nglish languag. It’s astonishing rally, whn you think about it, just how omniprsnt that particular lttr is.

Through intns calculation, our tam of skilld analysts figurd that rmoving a crtain lttr from th papr would sav us twnty-thousand dollars in printing costs—pr issu. Savings lik that will opn th path to an untappd wllspring of potntial for this papr.

Of cours, our rputation as a collg nwspapr is unrivald, but with th mony savd by cutting just a singl lttr from print Th Gryhound will rach nw hights! Imagin, th hard-hitting journalistic authority you’v com to xpct frm us, but finally givn th spac it dsrvs. Th staff prdicts that daily Gryhound issus in xcss of 50 pags ar a possibility for th 2014-2015 acadmic yar, and projctions indicat that issus xcding four-hundrd pags will hit campus nwstands as arly as 2016.

Now, th staff of Th Gryhound is nothing if not rcptiv to criticism and critiqu. Som may argu that xcising a crtain lttr from th papr will harm radability, and mak consuming th papr a pain. Rst assurd that this will not b an issu, for two rasons.

Firstly, th staff has th utmost faith in th intllignc of our radrship. Our audinc of intrpid radrs scans ach and vry word with discrning caution, and is nvr dtrrd by incrdibly minor hiccups in radability.

Scondly, th staff is of th mind that most writrs only us a crtain lttr so frquntly as a crutch. Publications lik Th Nw York Tims, Th Baltimor Sun, and Th Chicago Tribun ar simply stuck in thir ways, unabl (or unwilling) to adapt to this brav nw world of journalism. Prhaps this is why thos paprs ar in financial troubl. Thy’d do wll to tak our lad.

In th nd, this dcision is for th bst. Concssions lik cutting pags, rducing pag spac and omitting a crtain lttr of th alphabt ar insignificant minutia whn wighd against what rally mattrs: cold, hard dosh.