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The Greyhound

The Student News Site of Loyola University Maryland

The Greyhound

Dr. Sheila Shaw Horton discovers endangered owl species

Dr. Sheila Shaw Horton discovers endangered owl species

On the 15th of March, at Loyola the school, under the arch, by the memorial pool, she was walking, enjoying campus’ great joys, when Horton the doctor heard a small noise.

So Horton stopped walking. She looked toward the sound. “That’s funny,” thought Horton, “There’s no one around.” Then she heard it again! Just a very faint hoo, as if a professor was calling her too.

photo via bc.edu

“I’ll help you,” said Horton. “But who are you? Where?” She looked and she looked. She could see nothing there but two tiny owls just sitting in pair.

“I say!” murmured Horton. “I’ve never heard tell of two tiny owls that are able to yell. So you know what I think? Why, I think that there must be a family inside that tree! Some sort of creatures, too small to be seen by a college kid’s eye.

“Some poor little owls who’re shaking with fear that they’ll be sent away by the school! They have nowhere to steer. I’ll just have to save them. Because, after all, an owl’s an owl, no matter how small.”

So, gently, and using the greatest of care, the doctor stretched her arms through the air, and she lifted the nest and began to roam and placed it down, safe, in its own little home.

“Humpf!” humpfted a voice. Twas a sour professor. And the student on his couch said “Humpf” too. “Why, that owl is as small as a mouse. A mutant, that is? Take it to your own house!”

“Believe me,” said Horton. “I’ll tell you sincerely, my ears are quite keen and I heard them quite clearly. I know they’re two owls. And, what’s more, quite likely there’s three. Even four. Quite likely more; a family, for all that we know! A family with children just starting to grow. So please,” Horton said, “ as a favor to me, try not to disturb them. Just please let them be.”

“I think you’re a fool!” laughed the sour professor and the young student on his couch said, “Me too! You’re the strangest fool at Loyola the school!” And the two left to the pall of the hall.

“What a terrible smashing,” the doctor frowned. “I can’t let my very small owl be found! I’ve got to protect them. I’m bigger than they.” So she plucked up the owls and hustled away.

Through the large student body, the news quickly spread: “She talks to two owls! She’s out of her head! Just look at her walk with that nest in her power!” And Horton walked, worrying, almost an hour.

“Should I put this nest down?” Horton thought with alarm. “If I do, these small owls may come to great harm. I can’t put them down. And I wont! After all, an owl’s an owl. No matter how small.”

Then Horton stopped walking. The two owls were talking! Their voices so faint she could just barely hear it. “Speak up, please” said Horton. She put her hear near them.

“My friend,” came a voice, “you’re a very fine friend. You’ve helped us two owls avoid our own end. You’ve saved all our species, our nest and our owlets. You’ve saved all our birches and endangerments.

“You mean…” Horton gasped, ”You have babies there too?”

“Oh, yes,” piped an owl. “We most certainly do…”

“I know, called the owl, “I’m too small to be noticed, but I’m father of a family that isn’t mean, not even remotest. Our owlets, to you, would seem terribly small but to us who aren’t big, they’re wonderfully tall. My nest is called Owl-ville for I am an owl and we owls are all thankful and grateful to you.”

And Horton called back to the father of the nest, “You’re safe now. Don’t worry, I’ll do my best.”

But, just as she spoke to the father of the nest, three players of rugby came up after a long trek. The Wickersham Brothers came shouting, “What dread! This doctor’s talking to Owls that should be dead! There aren’t small owls! And they don’t have a lair! And we’re going to stop all the nonsense! So there!”

They snatched Horton’s nest! They carried it off to a black-bottomed Jesuit nabbed Vlad Vlad-i-koff, a mighty strong Jesuit, of very swift mind, and they said, “Will you kindly get rid of our bind?” And, before the poor doctor could even speak, the Jesuit ran off with the nest in his sheik.

All that late afternoon and far into the night, that black-bottomed priest ran into the night, while Horton chased after, with groans over cobblestones that tattered her dress and battered her bones, and begged, “Please don’t harm those little folks, who have as much right to live as us bigger folks do!” But far, far beyond her, the Jesuit kept running and over his shoulder called back “Quit your whining. I’ll run the night through. I’m a priest. I don’t mind it. And I’ll hide this, tomorrow, where you’ll never find it!”

And at 6:56 the next morning she did it. It sure was a terrible place that he hid it. He let that small nest off somewhere inside of Humanities at best, a labyrinth; a test! “Find THAT!” sneered the Priest. “But I think you will fail.” And he left with a flip of the black-bottomed sheik.

“I’lll find it!” cried Horton. “I’ll find it or bust! I SHALL find my owls that are smaller than dust!” And stairwell by stairwell, with care she looked up and searched, and called, ”Are you there?” But stairwell by stairwell she found the one that she sought for was just not around. And by noon poor old Horton, had picked up and searched, and piled up nothing alive.

Then, on through the afternoon, hour after hour…till she found them at last!

“Humpf!”Humpfed a voice! “For almost two days you’ve run wild and insisted on chatting with strangers endandgered. Such carryings-on on our peaceful campus! We’ve had quite enough of your bellowing ruckus! And I’m here to state,” snapped Father Bergoglio, “that your silly nonsensical game is all through!” And a young Jesuit in his court said, “Me, too!”

“Mr. Owl! Mr. Owl!” Horton called. “Mr. Owl! You’ve got to prove now that you really are there! So call a big greeting. Get everyone in the blue. Make every owl holler! Make every owl hoo! If you don’t, every owl is going to end up in a Jesuit stew!”

From that second on their voices were heard. They rang out clear and clean. And the doctor smiled. “Do you see what I mean? They’ve proved they are owls no matter how small. And their whole world was saved by the tallest of ALL!”

“How true! Yes, how true,” said the sour professor. “And, from now on, you know what my plans are in store? From now on, I’m going to protect them; the poor!”

And the student on his couch said, “ME, TOO! From sun in the summer. From rain when it’s fall-ish, I’m going to protect them. No matter how small-ish!”

(photo via)

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Dr. Sheila Shaw Horton discovers endangered owl species