On Apr. 1, SGA announced global hip-hop superstar Gerald Earl Gillum, better known by his stage name G-Eazy, plans to hold a virtual 4,000-person Zoom video conference in place of this year’s in-person LoyolaPalooza event. 

Despite current circumstances at Loyola amid the coronavirus outbreak, the administration and SGA wanted to keep the party going. 

CEO of Zoom Video Communications, Eric Yuan, is pleased with the news of Gillum’s upcoming performance.

“Zoom was actually programmed to withstand thousands upon thousands upon thousands of concert-goers within one video conference room,” said Yuan. “Although millions of complaints have been filed regarding Zoom’s inability to house ten participants for a simple 50-minute core class, we’d make anything possible for our valued partner, G-Eazy.”

While the shock of remote life realities has taken its toll on Loyola students, this exciting news has truly Unleashed the Hounds™. Emilie Zuhowski ‘20, manager of G-Eazy’s largest Instagram fan page, which has amassed a startling 27 followers, could not be more excited with the headliner. 

“No. Way,” Zuhowski wrote in her most recent Instagram post. “This is G-Eazily the best thing that’s ever happened to me. ” 

Students like Zuhowski are eager to utilize their reactionary options within Zoom’s interface, such as the crowd-favorite “hand clapping” emoticon. 

“I might even un-mute myself so Gerald can hear my blood-curdling applause for his new hit song,” said Zuhowski. 

Amid the positive reaction to the news, not all of Loyola’s undergraduates are so pleased with the University’s cultural taste in colloquial rap. Matthew Brown ‘20, one of the most outspoken hounds in the controversial senior GroupMe chat, is barking up an Evergreen tree in protest. 

“You mean to tell me I’ve been listening to Machine Gun Kelly, nonstop, for the past twelve months, just for this agonizing disappointment?” Brown questioned.

In fact, upon further research, Brown’s Spotify “Wrapped 2019” reported a staggering 309 hours of Machine Gun Kelly’s “Hotel Diablo” logged over the course of the previous year.

Brown had no further comment on the subject. Yet, according to a fellow classmate, upon being asked to share his screen during a Zoom class, Brown’s desktop revealed a frightening collage of MGK’s greatest red carpet moments. 

This isn’t the semester we expected, but Loyola and its students are working hard to provide positivity during an otherwise difficult time. 

While LoyolaPalooza will not be featured on Zoom (April Fools!), many of the University’s staples, such as Relay for Life, are transitioning to an online platform. 

Be sure to keep up with The Greyhound to stay up to date with all things Loyola University Maryland: The Online Edition.