For any who may be unaware of this recent change, the misfortune of relaying this monumental act of stupidity falls to me. The image of the late Colonel Sanders, founder and face of the KFC fast-food chain, has shifted to that of a woman. Have they scrapped the Colonel altogether and decided to go with a fresh new face for the industry? No, the geniuses behind KFC have taken it upon themselves to dress a woman like Colonel Sanders, white facial hair and all, and cast her as their new mascot.

Why does this matter? Why should you care?

The above example represents a mere symptom of a larger epidemic. On the surface, this represents a marketing decision so pointless and inept that its existence is almost laughable. However, not only is this example far from a laughing matter, but this needless feminization is also something that has happened before and continues to happen. Have you seen the most recent Ghostbusters film featuring an all-female cast? Have you heard the news about an all-female Lord of the Flies film in production, or the female Dr. Who? Has the pattern revealed itself yet?

These examples listed have elicited a mixed bag of responses and critiques, but the key issue lies beneath the surface. The above critique and others like it may seem like empty, baseless complaints or the rants and ravings of a misogynistic male flailing desperately against change, but the critics and their complaints are merely the scapegoats taking the heat for the true culprits. True, one could certainly argue that the feminized changes in media portrayals signify progress towards equality between the sexes. However, how truly progressive is it to take an established icon or narrative, stamp some feminine faces on it, and call that a job well done? How progressive is it to uproot an image that has endured instead of giving more female icons their own unique ground to stand on? Morphing Colonel Sanders into a woman is not a sign of progression, it is a sign of lazy, shameless pandering to a feminist demographic based solely on a superficial surface-level change.

To any naysayers who would think to retort with some variation of “misogynist,” ask yourselves who the true villain is. Is it this humble writer with an opinion of his own who looks past the objective uselessness of making Colonel Sanders a woman? Or does the onus fall to the creative minds behind KFC and others who pantomime support for an equality movement as a front for their true selfish agendas? At best, one could view the change in two ways: either laugh at it like a bad joke or pay it no heed. At worst, one could recognize the change as the act of brazen, two-faced pandering that it is. Objectively, changing KFC’s Colonel Sanders into a woman does about as much for the feminist struggle as a hypothetical decision to change Popeye’s spokeswoman, Annie, into an Andrew, though the latter would undoubtedly spark backlash like gasoline to a lit flame.